Got my laptop today. Things are trickling in. I'm beginning to feel fortunate that I'm being forced into this. When I got the laptop, since the government bought it, got it stamped as official government property. I suppose being the day after tax day, I have little to complain about. Thank you, Uncle Sam :)
A couple programmers expressed interest in it. One guy thought it might be cool if I setup a blog about how I go about it.
Finished a technology disclosure today for the software I helped on. At that point, I was producing much more. I've had a few conversations recently where people want me to be involved but not necessarily implement the solutions. It feels weird. I think I have been moving that direction, almost unknowingly, almost despite myself. While I haven't produced much of anything lately, I've worked just as hard as ever. I've always struggled with direction, and have felt an immense responsibility. I almost always sense a deficiency, and much of the time can't put my finger on it. The thing I want to solve is usually a phantom. I can't tell you what I'm solving, but I know it needs to be solved. And time and time again, I've found what was gnawing was real, solvable and needed to be solved.
It's hard to find somebody who wants to play catch that way. It seems fruitless to the other party. But I've found that people don't mind letting it incubate. Really, that should be good enough. But I have always hoped for a shared fuzzy. A shared gnawing.
This is where I identify with the artist. The engineer is bound to solving problems that are well defined, not to say un-complex. The businessman is optimizing knowns, not to say he isn't taking risks.
Not sure where I was going there... but anyways... not feeling well tonight... :(
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