Redfish And SNRI Withdrawal

Bart fished on Thursday and didn't catch a fish.  Fishing can get expensive.  It can get frustrating too.  If you aren't catching fish alongside sinking money in a boat, gas, bait, equipment - it can be downright depressing.  I think I read that on Bart's face.  It wasn't pretty.  He wasn't frustrated, he was beat down.

Fished in Moses Lake with Larry today.  I didn't get so much as a bite.  Larry landed a nice fat redfish, about 20".  I think that made the trip for him.  Really glad he caught it.  It's a lot of work getting the boat in and out - especially during low tide off a screwed up boat ramp.  It was windy today too, kinda gray with a few breaks of sunshine.  The redfish made an otherwise fishless day fishful.

I enjoyed the time out on the lake.  Memorable moments for me 1) sitting on the bow of the boat, hunched over, trolling the line --- and briefly I felt relaxed and elated where you feel like you could do that forever and it'd be good enough (refer back to Jagermeister --- this is the "there" of happiness) 2) wave splashing on me as we headed back in.

On another note, because of a mixup I stopped taking my medication (originally as a possible help for my arms) and am experiencing snri withdrawal (i'm guessing worse than ssri withdrawal) I drew those crawly pictures recently trying to give some idea of what I was feeling.  It actually helped me to draw.  That was part of Stage 1.  Stage 2, I am getting "the zaps" and what feels like wobbly waves of electricity rolling around my body.  It's kinda like having your own personal thunderstorm.  I have wanted to cry over the most odd things too.  The main thing I want to do is not do or say something I will regret later, especially about work with coworkers or with friends.  With bad mood swings you tend to want to pull some plug.  It's a learning experience when you can separate yourself from whatever is flying around in your head from what is real... and actually pick out the correct things flying in your head...  and make them real.  Self advice, take your time --- and don't blabber out what's in your head.  I've taken liberty to blog this, blabbering it out --- which may be a contradiction.

This makes me wonder if a good form of therapy might be to induce some extremity of a patient's psychosis in a controlled environment and work through it.

Everybody thinks therapy is going somewhere and feeling good.  How about doing the opposite so they can learn to deal with it?  Bring on the paranoia!  I can take it!

Hmmm... I guess they do that with phobias already.  Stick your hand in the spider jar... see... it's all okay.

Let's work in the coal mine for a couple days, hmmm.  See some pyramids in Egypt.