Systems For Innovation

Last night I told Kovi and Kim, "We could put a door here in the hallway - a glass paneled door.  Yeah!  We could close it at night so Mi Mi can't tear up the new couch.  Yeah!  And maybe that would block off noise to 'the office'.  I think it would look nice."  Then I trailed off, "I don't want to drink beer anymore.  I would have never thought of that if I'd been drinking beer.  I want a clear head."

After that Kovi spent about an hour giving me ideas on how we could keep Mi Mi from using the new couch as a scratching post.  Each idea had problems.  He went so far as to grab a whiteboard marker and explain one idea.  He drew a clothesline and a cat and showed how the clothes would fall when Mi Mi tried to scratch the couch (here I go wanting to cry again).  Unfortunately, he erased the drawing :(

While he gave me idea after idea I wondered about myself and the ideas that spring up in my work world.  I wondered if I was a Kovi - a cute passionate kid with ideas that didn't hold water.

This week I hit what I think is a fundamental problem with innovation in my work world.  What I do has to work in concert with other gears that are already turning.  There are coordinating systems in place.  For a while I thought if I could do something good enough it'd magically be useful.  I don't believe that to be true.

Stepping back, why, in the first place, not plug into something already in place?  Why not extend what is already there?  I may simply want to do something new so I can control it and benefit from being a sole maintainer/creator of it.  I don't think that is it (later - this could be exactly it).

Sitting back, and feeling good this morning, I thought, "You know, this is exactly the problem I want to address.  It's not about my application. It's about fostering innovation.  It's about the system in place, the lack of collaboration, the lack of real opportunity, ideas never popping out above the radar.  It's about what we think a 'system' is."

My application is the poster child of failure!  But maybe that is exactly what I need it to be... because the bigger question is "Why is it a failure?"  What am I doing wrong?  What is wrong with the system which makes me either give up, fail to get an opening, fail...  Why doesn't a good idea work?"

I can mope around... or I can learn.  At NASA, I know that there are a bunch of good guys I work with.

A couple years ago I was invited to do some type of collaborative library, repository... dealy bobber.  They told me I was up for the job because it was recognized that I promoted openness, sharing, collaborating etc.  I think it was thought I'd be a leader in an endeavor like that.  I turned it down and have basically holed myself in (starting to feel I'm going to cry again).   To be honest, now that I'm on a losing side --- my failed application, I have turned into a distrusting recluse (not that bad, but there are times).  I know why I don't want to collaborate.  It's a sickness - maybe I do want my own success and that period.  I'd like to say that that's the only way to survive... but that isn't it.  Okay, it's not that bad, but there is some truth to the ugliness.

I have a feeling that if my application were to be a roaring success I might have similar or worse issues.

Taking a few more steps back... What sort of environment would lead me to think in such a distorted manner?  Is it that I'm crazy?  Maybe.  But what if I'm fundamentally a caring person who loves openness, thrives on sharing ideas, learning and being part of something bigger?  What could take such a person to such an ugly place?

Man, I think if I am honest, I wanted to do it all alone.  Is that it?  It could very well be that I supported openness and innovation and all because I was promoting what I was doing.  Dang.  I gotta step down and smell the stink under my arms --- shooooweee!