The bar is not crooked. The tile is.
Shower tile is very NON-porous. Shower tile is very hard to drill thru. Yes, with a hammer drill... okay, not your hammer drill, the Milwaukee. No wait, you don't need a hammer drill. You have a special bit for your cordless. I know. You are a handyman. You would have done this job in 34 minutes. Tops!
Studs are never 16" apart. No, I know, yours are. You were smart and got the right house with the studs on 16" centers. Things are not difficult for you are they? Things fit. They work. You know how to choose. How difficult can things be? If not 16"... you know because you have it on a spreadsheet and you laugh at the mortals who do not see through the skin of their walls. Mere men!
Your drill bit sinks in NON-porous tiles like a pencil in hot butter. Your bit doesn't dance on the surface of the tile. It doesn't slide off in a trail of marring. It sinks straight where you marked it. That's because you apply perfect orthogonal pressure to your drill. You have a paranormal understanding of the bit's head spinning at the drill's hair-triggered variable RPM. All the ligaments, muscles and bones in your body fall into form to drive the bit EXACTLY where your mind asks of it. You are one with the tools of your trade and the job before you flows like a stream.
Odds are, you wouldn't hit a screwhead on the other side of the tile. Only sinners do that or the ones cursed by the gods to learn patience. The gods punish those that take on something they shouldn't. The gods can move the studs in the walls. They punish. They confuse stud finders.
In the end, despite all the errors, Satan's attacks and the god's well-meaning lessons.... the shower bar is in and another day is done.
1 comment:
Keith Vetter, your description is nuts, but you hung in there and did a magnificent job! I tested the bar this morning and felt so less apprehensive than in the past.
Thank you thank you -- love you!
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