I'm in hour four of a Windows 8 nightmare
No wait, I'm in day 14 of a Windows 8 nightmare
I probably wouldn't have such a bad opinion
Had it worked
Had I not spent the last four hours
Trying and trying to make it work
A grandmother is shaking and crying over this laptop
And I have to fix it
For Farm Town
For neighbors
Like Jesus would do
First gripe
And this is a general gripe
The stupid OS
Has really big big big big big BIG GINORMOUS things that it does
And when it does these gargantuan things
These HUGE feats underneath the cover in the bowels of its LARGE intestines
It shows its progress with simple progress bars that don't move
Well almost no movement
It will move, kind of
But sometimes it hangs
You just don't know
It's like a GIANT twiddling it's thumbs
And the GIANT is supposed to be doing something
BUT you aren't sure
BUT it's a GIANT
With a SUPER brain
SITTING at 2%
With his thumb up his butt
Like I'm waiting for him to pull some magic carrot out of his anus
The GIANT is humming a little tune
Circular and repeating
Are the eyes BLANK?
Is he thinking???
SITTING there
It's eyes crossed
CONFUSED
With his thumb up his butt
Is this what IT people all over the world dream of
SITTING in front of a motionless progress bar
DONUT in hand
STONED
DROOLING on the keyboard
HEAVEN!
Paid by the HOUR
To sit on the cutting edge
Of Windows WEIGHT
Of Windows WAIT
Raking the dough in
Take us all to the next level!
The POWER!
The PROGRESS!
The PLACES it will take you!
The DEVICES it will deliver to you like sweet hot dripping chocolate...
The APPS!
MILLIONS!
If ONLY it could update itself!
IF ONLY IT COULD UPDATE ITSELF!!!
Wait!
3%!
We are at 3%!
We are NOT frozen
The GIANT has moved
We have made 3% ladies and gentlemen!
The GIANT has spoken!
The prostrate has been tickled!
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