It's difficult for me to work at home sometimes. Even with my ergonomic setup I have been in pain lately. I've semi-learned to not say anything about it. I think I'll just blog about it.
If there's a problem, I like to solve it. I'll go crazy if I can't. Now days I try to find problems that I can pace myself on. I can't do too much repetitive trial-and-error problem solving. When a problem is on the hot plate, it usually turns into lots of poking and prodding. I used to be able to attack a problem by diving in and trying all the different possibilities. Go down a road, hit a dead end, back up and try the next. I usually have a good sense of the problem space. I'll know what rocks need to be turned over. What paths to take. What experiments to do. Now, sometimes, it overwhelms and frustrates me. I have the same drive to solve problems, only I can't solve hot-plate problems because of my arms. Actually, I can solve them. Only, it hurts.
It's very frustrating for me.
Sometimes I think I'm giving myself an excuse. Sometimes I doubt myself. However, I know for a fact, that at one point I was typing with my hands upside-down. I know for a fact that when I recently tried programming in "the man cave" in a regular chair I couldn't do it without it being excruciating. It was such a beautiful day. I wanted to be out there.
Right now, I'm in pain.
If the neurologist is correct, which I doubt, this all stems from worn cartilage between my C5/C6 vertebrae. If he is correct, this pain isn't a signal that I'm hurting myself more. I can deal with pain. I just don't want to exacerbate a problem. The worry over that might cause tension which may hurt me more. I don't know.
I don't like working at home when there are problems at work that need my attention. I don't know what to do with those problems. I feel like a waste sometimes.
Right now, I think I will chop some wood. It really helps. When I don't work a problem that I need to work on, I feel bad. I sometimes drink beer to make myself feel better. Chopping wood and drinking beer is what I want to do right now. I'll try and just chop wood. I'd rather be solving the problem.
It's frustrating.
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