If we could just throw in some communism, we'd put Monday Night Football over the antennae so dolts like me who don't have ESPN could enjoy freaking Monday evening. You have to pay Time Warner to see the greatest game on the planet.
I can't believe I can't watch Monday Night Football. It's horrible!
Wait, maybe I can at least listen. What would John Wayne do? What would Daniel Boone do? This is America! An honest tax payin' citizen can't even watch America's game. Time Warner! I will breach you. I can do it. It's easy. But I can't!
I'll endure your commercials! Just lemme have Monday Night Foo-ball.
Rocky! Roger Staubach. Frank Gifford. Neil Armstrong. George Washington. Herbert Hoover. Fran Tarkenton. Lou Farrigno. George Bush. The many Marlboro Men. Mr. T. Jerry Jones. Mike Jones! Who? Mike Jones! Ronald Reagan!
We need an army of patriots to get Monday Night Football back in the air!
There are many people who are just gonna channel surf like a zombie. Specifically! I need Monday Night Football!
Bruce Jenner! Mary Lou Retton!
For goodness sakes! CHUCK NORRIS!
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