Now, I think, I have to resort, fortunately and unfortunately, to seeing the structure of the knot.
I don't think I could tie that knot with all the loops falling here and there and the underlaps and overlaps... pulling and then the loops tangling... and untangling.
I was just getting real mad at myself. And I have been mad at myself - well sorta. Somewhat mad and somewhat scared.
Today, I was working a problem that required recursion. I couldn't untangle it. But what I have to do - or maybe I force myself to do - is see structure... or maybe it is that structure just appears better now... I don't think it is simply an attraction... although it is pretty.
See, now, with those pegs in place 1s, 2s and diamonds... I think I can tie the knot without all the discombobulation.
They call that getting old. However, I am seeing it as a new way to look at things... and I'm pushing HARD at it. It's why I'm painting to understand composition, fly fishing... it is *all* work (I just want to say... Oh what a tangled web we weave).
This has been the toughest transition in my life - my new brain. I am not a retard! I am not a retard! I HAVE TIGER BLOOD :D
I can't do the flow of the line anymore... I've got to see it whole... I'm sorry! And I'm not good at it! And all mathematicians and artists and musicians did their work young! I know! --- but actually... Picasso... yes, Picasso... Cezanne's garden... there's hope :-)
PS: did it ever flow???
1 comment:
it really isn't true. I wouldn't have whipped it up when I was 20 something. I really don't think my memory is any worse than it was then, but maybe I forgot how good my memory was.
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