April 10, 2009

Closure

Got quarterlies done today. Was simple since it was setup.

I've been working so hard since I got back from the Netherlands. I feel like I don't have much to show for it. Since my arms have bothered me so much, I've read a lot and thought a lot. I've passed over and over the same concepts. They are sticking better.

I push for quite a while for a culmination where there is a blooming, a state of stability, a sense of understanding and/or some internal goal met. It's then that I can rest... or forget about it for a while and get some rejuvenation.

It's one reason I can't schedule vacations... or maybe one reason I *should* schedule vacations :)

My arms have felt better. I think the medicine may be working. It may be all Mark. Not sure.

4 comments:

Kim said...

May you reach that point soon and TAKE A BREAK!!!

Keith said...

You miss the point, saying "that point"... by overemphasizing "TAKE A BREAK".

The point is that I need to REACH A POINT so I can take a break.

But maybe you are correct in that you find no point in MY POINT because there is NO POINT to my point.

Maybe there is a point, but not much of one. Maybe you only care about me and not my THE POINT.

I gotta DO SOMETHING... and I know that is lame and that real people who know about being wise and all... can just... "be"... and find some Tao way of floating along and sniffing the roses... and enjoying painting... and tidying up the house and grooming the dog... loving the kids... growing old and dying like every freaking other person in this mad house world...

The freaks. Freaks!!!

Mark said...

It's not all me. :) But I don't think I really needed to point that out.

What you wrote about convergence to a point resonates with me. For a long time I've liked the following:

At the still point of the turning world. Neither flesh nor fleshless;
Neither from nor towards; at the still point, there the dance is,
But neither arrest nor movement.
...
The inner freedom from the practical desire,
The release from action and suffering, release from the inner
And the outer compulsion, yet surrounded
By a grace of sense, a white light still and moving...

To sense the presence of that point, to be in stillness where all the whirling stuff is somehow whirling but resolved and orbiting you in equilibrium rather than tugging you in different directions with its gravity -- perhaps that is the "rightness" of well-written code, or of art, or of a beautiful proof, or of a new shoot pushing its way skyward through a sunlit patch of tended soil.

Keith said...

Good to read... and kinda goes along with spacecraft dynamics! :)