Tonight the coach asked me to play soccer with the kids. Turns out that he wanted himself, me, the soccer genius and his dad to play against the entire Puma team. It was four on twelve. I had already done my 5 mile walk.
I just remembered when I was a kid, I played quarterback for the Oak Hill Rams. We had three or four coaches. One time they decided that they were going to put the whole team against me. They separated us about 15 yards. I honestly thought I could make it through. I was excited to get to try. I think they only gave me one try.
After soccer practice I found out there is an indoor soccer league for players over 40. I would have never thought this, but I got excited. Then coach Barker and the soccer genius dad started talking about the 20-year-old to 30-year-olds.I got the feeling coach Barker wishes he could play in the 40-year-old league. I thought was like, "Yeah, it'll be fun! There won't be all those testosterone guys trying to prove themselves --- slamming the ball at 100 miles an hour breaking their thumbs and all that stuff!" they both said that in 20 to 30-year-old group play so rough that you want to say, "don't you have a job?! I mean. I have to work in the morning. I can't afford an injury. I got to work! These guys don't get it." And I couldn't help but think about the fact that I can't really program anymore like I used to... and there's been so much anxiety on my part not being able to perform like it used to. And really frustrated especially when I have ideas and I can't just spit them out with my arms like I used to. This might sound overly optimistic, but saying that, I am really okay... and would even venture to say am much better at what I do for a living. I thought a lot about it today. For quite some time, with my job as a programmer, I had a pretty loose, dare I say, artistic license for what I did. I can't experiment like I used to. I can't take an idea and work on it for hours and see it through by sheer persistent effort to see my idea fail or succeed. I used to be able to test an idea through experimentation and I didn't have to think about structure so much. I used to not have to define my idea... because the idea was usually something elusive but I could go after it anyway.
Anyhow, something about being sweaty and almost getting a tickle in my chest about being able to play again... like I did tonight crossing a pass from the sideline to the soccer genius and seeing him kick it in... running across and giving each other a high five.
Rob Bailey! I just had to say Rob Bailey. To Brad Bell! To the heros that CMMI can't live with!
6 comments:
I think you should definitely go for the indoor soccer!!! That would be fun. :-) I know it has been hard not being able to type. Wish I could be more helpful.
Hey world... you guys don't know it, but Keith could have been a world-class football quarterback! When he was playing for the Rams, I actually ran down the sideline and captured him crossing the goal line to make his first touchdown. From, A proud mom
I loved playing football! I love playing basketball, soccer, baseball, tennis, racquetball and on and on! That's what programming should be like... pass it... grab... cut... shoot... you know!
Clarification... when Keith made his first touchdown, I didn't capture him... I captured a picture of him. :) Keith's Mom
No, she tackled me!
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