Annie

The sounds of Annie are coming out of Kaley's room.  She's about to go to the first dress rehearsal.  She's Mrs. Hannigan - the crazy lady.  She always ends up as the demented character!  Yesterday, I spent all day working on the backdrop for "the mansion".  I also spent Friday night working on it - actually erasing my first idea which was Art Deco.  I am replacing it with something more 3D with attempts at vaulted ceilings, red carpet, paintings on walls, a sculpture etc.  I'm pretty happy with it.  The stage before the idea materializes, and works, is --- I don't know if I can explain it --- maybe stressful.  It's a blank that is waiting to be filled. The filling takes concentration even though there is no exact process --- just a "NO!" or "Yes!" or "... maybe..." as ideas and visions flutter in and out... The "Yesses!" are sometimes followed through and dashed to pieces (like the Art Deco).  I've had enough successes now that the horrible doubt of complete failure, lack of filling, is not so bad.  Still, it's there.  After (and during) each project, I wonder when and how the ideas will stop.  The best is when an idea is worth the chase. It not only works, but opens up new doors (no pun intended (you'd need to see the painting of the mansion)) you hadn't expected.  The idea turns into something better than the original flutter.  Maybe that is it.  The idea must not only materialize but grow.  I wonder about that with Spoonbill.  I don't want to grow so much.  I don't think that is what I'm chasing.  I'm chasing something else.  I can't explain what it is, but Spoonbill (the company), I think is a buffer so I can concentrate on that which I'm not sure of.  That's funny!  That's the opening.  It's not an end (maybe not even a means) - simply a buffer.  Maybe freedom is what I'm talking about.  When the gates of Moses Lake are hit by the sun - and I'm hit by it - I think that's it (but probably not).  Maybe it's taking what isn't, and making it "is" (what, dear Clinton, do I mean???).  Maybe it's heading out through the opening.  Who knows???  Maybe it's the jet over Moses Lake.  Maybe it's playing the crazy character. LOL!  Last weekend, after being at Dave's house, I thought that money was good.  I think creating a mansion for this play and being in one last week has me wanting to be in one today.  Maybe that is what this post is all about.  I never know what my silly brain is trying to tell me.  Shut up!