Tree Clearing Under Bridge

I spent today under a bridge clearing out brush and branches.  I have cut out two fishing spots where I can cast my fly without too much tangling.  Kim gasped when we walked over the bridge and she saw the tree I had climbed to cut branches.  It was a thin tall tree.

I mentioned in a previous post that I haven't been on my "medication".  I've just about concluded that my meds allow me work.  The meds are a combination of anti-depressants and basically speed.  There you go - I have to juice up to work.  It hasn't always been that way.  I used to like working.

I don't have to juice up to clear brush for hours.  I saw a lawn service today and was envious.  I thought of George Bush on his ranch with his chain saw.  It makes complete sense!  I like George Bush more every day.  For a while, I didn't really like him.

I have been able to avoid meetings.  I think I am starting to understand why.  Meetings may be avoiding me. 

Entire programs actually come and go.  Actually they spring up and atrophy.  People are getting stinking rich too!  You have to know how to leech off of it all.  The hard work of getting more work and building up.  Getting more personnel.    The competition is fierce! 

Me. Well, I do drugs and dream about fishing.

That isn't quite true.  I'm probably a leech.  Yeah, I suck.

Tomorrow!  Now tomorrow when I'm no longer sober, but taking the happy pills - I'll be healthy.  I'll take on the challenge of the new day and be deeply thankful that I'm employed.  I am thankful.  Nobody with any sense looks the gift horse in the mouth.  Tomorrow, I'll be sensible.  When I'm depressed, I just won't say anything.  I'll work.  I'll catch up on my hours.  I'll dig in - burrow.

Tomorrow, I'll probably kick butt and realize that yesterday (that is now), that I wasn't in my right mind - that I was actually concerned I couldn't do it anymore - that my contribution would never amount to squat...

Oh please doctor!  Ease it all.  Grease the wheels.  I've got 11 months ahead... and I'm already behind three weeks... We have an asteroid to not land on or not really do anything to help not land a something on a not... --- I know!  It's always been this way!  Stop telling me that!

I wonder if I can hire a couple more EP.

Please doc!  I need meds!  Cut away my bad attitude!  My cynical thoughts!  Therapy!  Gimme love!  Gimme therapy!  More trees to trim!