Dealing With It

Just back from Dr. Kevin Winfield.  I say his name because he gave a great start to my beginning at dealing with the high blood pressure.  When he checked it, it was 150/110.

Depression is really bad.  It tells you that there is no sense checking anything because it's all going to fall apart anyhow.  It tells you there are no solutions - that even trying to work it out will just be complicated and tiring.

(drew a stick figure of it like that greek myth)

It tells you it's pointless and maybe even worse because the harder you try the more of a mess it will be when it comes crashing back down.  It tells you it's better to keep your head in the sand under the rock.

It tells you that even if you made it out, there'd just be another hole.

It tells you that it's "Tao" to live beside the rock at the bottom of the hole.

It tells you that all doctors care about is their Mercedes, Yacht and their Cathedral home.  It will laugh cynically that some doctors, and I'm guessing the larger percentage, really care.  I'm sort of embarrassed that I've gone to a psychologist - but really he's the one who prodded me, very carefully, to dealing with things.  I told Dr. Winfield that the psychologist was a friend.  Dr. Winfield was taken aback by that a little and went into a discussion about friends, professional relationships, doctor/patient relations... and said, "If you have two friends, they say you're doing good."  He went on, "I mean you only see him for what 15 minutes?"  I said, "Well, he stretches the 15 minutes."  He came back, "I mean you don't see him at the supermarket, right?"  I said, "No."  I said, "I don't know, he just knows me, knows where I'm at, keeps up."  When Dr. Winfield left the room, I told him to ask me about my boat building next time we see each other.

Who knows... maybe they can fix my arms.  That'd be a miracle.  I have to say that I'm semi-glad that I've had to deal with the arms' thing as well as the depression... but not the heel! lol  Stupid heel!  But I think that's okay.  Yesterday's "rubber band snapping" feeling wasn't a snap, I don't think.  I think it was fair warning.  I did throw those hiking boots in the trash and have a nice new pair of flip flops :-)

Kim has been taking good care of me.  I feel like one of her plants.  I'll try and be a good plant.  Let's see - get me down to 170lbs --- wow... now that'd be radical.

PS: It was Dr. Daley, the guy that shot my heel, who said Winfield was "an ace".  It struck me at the time that Dr. Daley had to go to a doctor.  They aren't above that.  They're human too :-)