Fatherhood

Is a series of losses
The first you lose your wife to your kids
Then your pet guinea pig dies
Then the cat shrieks in its death
Eyeballs bulging
You bury it in the middle of the night in the brush
Then you lose your kids to their friends
Then you realize your dog prefers your neighbor's trashcan over yourself
Then...
Then you realize you're footing the bill for the whole enterprise
Then your fishing friends think your gay
Then...
You bury yourself in work
Then...
You find that all the guys at work are like the guys that go fishing for BIG fish
Then...
Then you are just kinda happy
And it's all okay
Then you've got this huge cat
And it's got more poop than a bull mastiff
Then...
You just kinda unroll
And roll with it
And you hope the high blood pressure will
Knock your a$$ out
But it's "the slow killer"
And you just wish it'd get it over with!
Then...
You laugh
Hole up
And blog about it
And kinda laugh
Because you know that Steve Martin
Has already been through all of this
And so has your dad