December 17, 2011

No Pattern For Feeling Bad Or Good

I never know, pretty much from minute to minute, what I'm going to feel like.  This morning I woke up happy and feeling good.  I lied there in a bliss of sorts.  Last night I dreamed Larry pulled up in the boat and said, "Hey, you wanna go to South Padre?"  I thought, "Laguna Madre".  That turned into an exciting adventure.  I ended up at Ross Lake.  I painted a scene outside and it turned out good.  A lady wanted to buy it from me.  Went from there on a hike through a forest.  The trees in the forest had huge gnarly roots.

I lied there daydreaming about the dream.  I thought of the people I know - I liked all of them and said a good thing about each one.  There was no "man" - we were all in it together.

Yesterday morning, after taking Kaley to the busstop, suddenly, I threw up.  That's never happened to me.  However, after throwing up, my brain was on .  I kicked programming butt.  I actually liked my work.

A few days earlier, my brain would not function.  The "man" was on the loose and threatening the world with his vicious teeth. All anybody cared about was $$$.  Everybody was pretty much lazy and using each other.

And mixed in there, in the days, from minute to minute... for no good reason...  I can soar up and down.  There is no way for me to not chase feeling better, but I have to watch it because some things are addictive or can make me really fat.

So off to shoot a rocket this morning!  Alone!

2 comments:

Keith said...

The rocket launch was superb. Just like riding a wave on a surfboard, there is, for a few seconds, a total loss of self in a swirling sea of energy.

Kim said...

Cool! (on the launch) I am glad this is a happy day.