Survival

This post stems from the last sentence of the last post:

I don't sit at the mercy of rain, wind and fire --- I'm at the mercy of this weird system that we've made.

I wrote a while back (August 2008):

Kim, Kaley and Kovi are safely in Austin. I am here. I helped Larry board up his windows. I did not board up my own. I said something like, "I want to see all of mother nature's fury blasting through my house."

We've seen horrors recently from "mother nature".  What made me want to experience her fury?  The reality is that things become more understandable, more "real", when I'm fleeing from or am under her wrath.  When I'm fishing, there's something solid or straightforward about it.  When Kim is in the garden it seems "right".  When the tornado came through our neighborhood, it was good in a way.

Nature's destruction isn't taken as wanton - there's something understandable about it.  In the wake of the death she delivers, life springs back, unlike the trash heaps of modernity.

We work with nature and have some respect for it... unlike our modern machinery which is more "controlled" and used as a buffet against nature... for comfort... but somehow stale, impersonal and scary.

Crud, my arms are aching... can't finish this post... I'll just end it with saying that I wasn't going to make a point about "getting back to nature"... the point was more about economy... shoot...

PS: At the end of that post from 2008, I wrote:

I wish I could block the storm from everybody who doesn't feel likewise. I don't mean to make light. Single me out. May the force form a singularity and pinpoint this house. Grab and toss me into the stratosphere. Pulverize all my possessions. It's all good.

What I am really saying is that I want to throw myself at God's mercy so I can rest... I think that's what I'm saying.