I told her that basically I don't like doing research on the internet too much. And I don't like joining a site and then wondering if every question I have is as you always see "a 5.0 second google, you moron" or as we hear in the software world "RTFM"or "This Is Off Topic" or "Didn't You Read The FAQ, You Faggot". Really, I hate being a pest. Nobody needs to convince me I'm a dumb newbie and that they are grand wizards. Enough said! Well not enough! When I go to build a boat I'll just be another fart doing it... but really... for me... I'm still human... and I understand I can't be significant to these grand wizards and all... but really this is a big deal... and I'm dreaming about it - even this morning I woke up with thoughts of materials like graphite, metals, cloth, wood, glass, silicon, epoxy and all sorts of things.
Kim is funny. So then she just pops out, "Well just buy one then!" I know a few people that are thinking, "You know, Kim is the only one with any sense in that family. Well Kaley too. And yes Kovi."
"Well!", I said to Kim, "I tell you what I ought to do! Forget the whole trying to do it right and just make a crappy boat! Just to float across the pond. And if it sinks, who cares?! And if I am disgusted with it, well I'll make another one... and another... and and another! At least I'd be doing something!" That's kinda like software development!
Kim said, "I'll just make planters with all the boats." The practical one!
"So!", I said, "You know what!? I'm going to go to HEB and get some beer with low alcohol content! Bud 55!" So I hopped in the car and The Beastie Boys were playing. And I said, "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" I slid into the HEB parking lot with the bbbb bbbzzzz bummm bbbbb buuh bbbzzzzt Beastie Boys. And I said to myself, "Self! This is how I want to fish - Beastie Boys In A Red Honda Fit Nerded Out Bzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!"
At the checkout, two Indians (from India) asked me how Bud 55 was. I said, "Well, pretty good, but it doesn't have any kick, like alcohol, I mean it's 2.3 percent, I think. But actually, it's pretty high in alcohol if you compare the alcohol content to the calories. So if you like drinking a lot of beer it will work. But that could get expensive." I think the Beastie Boys were still Bzzzt Bzzzting in my head. "As far as the taste goes, I think it's pretty good. I mean if you like light beer. I'd say it tastes better than the 64. Really, I just got it because I don't want to be all you know blah blah blah... as it's late" and then I hung my tongue out to the side and did a Beastie Boys, "Bzzzt buzzt" (no I didn't do that) When I talk to people I don't know my brain sometimes spills out more information than my mouth will assimilate and I bat things back and forth - confusing myself and hopelessly confusing the other end as well. Because really, I never ever ever know what I'm talking about! Ever! Because I have 3000 unanswered questions to every stinking answer there is! And I can't remember any answers I do have! I'm on to the next thing! Whatever foggy thing that is! I'm going to drive the grand wizards out of their freaking minds! NASA should fire me!
He looked to be in a daze and said, "MGD?" (or was it OMG?)
Then the bagger said, "Boss, you want this bagged?" I said, "Nah" He said, "That's right on." I said, "You got that right, though, I am THE BOSS". We all laughed (or was it just me laughing?)
The night before I got to talk to a checker who broke his arm in "a bar fight" (what's the name? that popular one... with the wood walls... uhhh??? ) The checker claimed that the fightee rammed his face into his arm and broke it. Also, he got free shots the next visit to the bar.
I'm convinced that I need to learn to make a net so I can build a boat. There's completely no, absolutely no logic to it... but that's how I'm starting. But really, how can I build a boat and not know knots? Maybe I feel like I have to "learn the ropes"- but this time, literally. Or maybe it's like this:
I got my boy Mike D. -
I got the King Adrock
I got the jammy with the ammo
Inside my sock
I shot homeboy but the bullet was a dud
So I reached in the Miller cooler -
Grabbed a cool Bud
Bzzt Bzzt Buuzzzt
1 comment:
You crack me up.
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